gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just cut my nipple shaving
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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