you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
