Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
