isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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