We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
