just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
