your parents love me but you hate me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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