After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
