Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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