so explain again why im purple
no
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
