M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
