Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
