Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
tell me about the eggs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
