New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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