he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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