Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
