It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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