Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
