Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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