I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
