It's just like the Real World with babies
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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