whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
