i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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