I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
