Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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