They should really pass out barf bags in church
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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