Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Please don't give away my fajitas
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
