You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
