I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
