Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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