Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
