i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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