Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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