After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
