I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
