You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
