His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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