Tell her she can't have a vagina
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
