While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
