i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
