Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
