RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
