Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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