I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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