He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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