I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
