i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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