I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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