Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
