was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
