i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
